


Dennis's Double Date

by goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Dennis Reynolds, Cheating, Come Shot, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flirting, Fondling, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Manipulation, Oral Sex, Safer Sex, Scheming, Seduction, Sex Tapes, Tears, Top Charlie Kelly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 21:06:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18764227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople/pseuds/goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople
Summary: It doesn't really hurt, but Dennis feels tears well beneath his eyes from the intensity of the sensation as he sinks further down until his ass is flush with Charlie's thighs. Dennis swallows thickly and closes his eyes, gathering himself for a moment. "Okay," he breathes, finally, as he opens his eyes. He grins down at Charlie. "Show me what you've got, man."





	Dennis's Double Date

**Author's Note:**

> In this story, Mac never got rid of his bed.

"Oh! My! God!" the waitress huffs, poking Charlie in the chest as she turns to roll onto her side away from him.

Charlie is absolutely baffled. Could it be pregnancy hormones already? Was she always this bitchy? He throws his hands up in confused despair before he also rolls onto his side. Charlie tries in vain to fall asleep, but is extremely disgruntled to discover that the waitress snores like a freight train with a cold... cranked up to eleven. Charlie gets out of the covers and gathers his clothes from the floor, putting them on to make his way over to Mac's and Dennis's.

"Oh, man, I'm in big trouble," Charlie says when Dennis answers the door. "The waitress - she's gone totally crazy, man. She's, like, all in love with me now that I've banged her so we can have a kid, but she's also being, like, a total bitch and -"

"Whoa, whoa, okay, hey, slow down there, buddy. Come on in," Dennis says, closing and locking the door as Charlie takes a seat on the couch. "What's going on, man?"

"Oh, dude - I think I might've made a mistake."

"Wait," Dennis says, seating himself beside Charlie. "Are you saying you actually slept with the waitress?"

"Yeah, man. She's asleep at my place right now."

"And she slept with you... willingly?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... How the hell did this happen?"

"Oh. Well, I showed her everything that was wrong with her life, then she got real emotional, then I told her I love her, then she kissed me, then we banged, then she went fucking crazy."

"Hm."

"What?" Charlie asks cautiously, sensing Dennis's disapproval.

"Have you heard of negging?"

"What's that?"

"So, you know pick-up lines? Well, it's pretty much the opposite. Put-down lines, essentially."

"Oh. I... I wasn't trying to do that."

Dennis brings his arm over Charlie's shoulders. "I know. But... go easy on her, maybe."

Charlie nods as a yawn escapes him. "Hey, man, where can I sleep?"

Dennis sighs. "I guess I'll go sleep with Mac; you can have the couch."

"Alright, thanks, man."

Dennis pushes open the door to Mac's room as quietly as he can, only to discover that Mac's still awake, reading by the soft glow of the lamp on his end table. "Hey, man," Dennis says, closing the door behind him. "What're you reading?"

"Oh, hey, Dennis." Mac tucks his finger between the pages he's reading and holds the Bible up for Dennis to see.

Dennis nods. "Mind if I join you in here? Charlie just came by; he's sleeping on the couch."

"Oh. Yeah, no, of course. Why's Charlie here?"

Dennis sheds his belt and jeans and climbs into the covers beside Mac. "Get this: He banged the waitress. Apparently he can't stand to be around her now and she's asleep at his and Frank's place."

"Shut the fuck up," Mac says as he flaps his Bible closed and slaps it onto his nightstand.

"I know, right?"

"So... I guess this means she's finally over you."

Dennis scoffs. "No way, bro."

"Sure sounds like it."

"Nah, man, are you kidding? She was all over me. She was to me as Charlie was to her."

"Yeah, but... now she is to Charlie as Charlie was to her."

"What, just 'cause they banged one time? Come on, Charlie can't be that amazing in bed."

Mac shrugs. "Guess he is." Mac reaches over to switch off his lamp, then turns onto his side to lie down.

Dennis's ego feels slightly bruised; he suspects that Mac's right. But... really? She's over him after fucking Charlie once? How freaking talented is the guy? A brilliant idea suddenly descends upon Dennis's devious brain. Oh, this is perfect. And it's two birds with one stone. "Hey, Mac?"

"Yeah, dude?"

"Do you still have Carmen's number?"

"Yeah, why?"

"How old would her kid be now?"

"I think six. Why?"

"Well... I was thinking of arranging a playdate for Brian tomorrow."

"Really? Why?"

"Thought maybe the three of us could see a movie. Bond as parents."

"Whoa, whoa," Mac says as he sits up. "Hold up. Are you saying you want to raise the kid together?"

"I'm not saying that exactly. But... I guess I'm not completely rejecting the possibility." Dennis already has, of course, but Mac doesn't need to know that. He does feel a little guilty for getting Mac's hopes up, though.

"Oh, dude, this is awesome! I'll text Carmen right now!" Mac takes his phone from his nightstand and texts: Hey, it's Mac. It's been a long time, how are you? Just found out that Dennis has a kid! We were wondering if your kid wanted to play with him tomorrow.

Less than ten minutes later, Carmen texts back: Hey Mac, it's nice to hear from you! That would be lovely :) What time were you thinking? Would you guys be able to come over here?

Mac responds: That works out perfectly, since Dennis and I were looking to see a movie with the kid's mom tomorrow evening.

Carmen: Oh... So, we'd be babysitting his kid?

Mac: Oh shit, I hadn't thought about it like that... I totally understand if you don't want to.

Carmen: No, I guess that's fine. It'll be nice for Axel to meet a new friend :)

Mac: Alright, awesome. See you tomorrow!

Carmen: What time should we expect you?

"Hey, Dennis?"

"Mm?"

"Carmen wants to know what time we're dropping off Brian."

"Hmm... I don't know, five or six? That'll probably give them at least a couple of hours to play before it's time for bed."

"Alright, cool." Mac texts: Does 5:30 or so work?

Carmen: Yeah, that should be fine.

Mac: Great!

Carmen: Have a good night, Mac :)

Mac: Thanks, you too :)

Mac clicks his phone off and puts it back on his nightstand, then lays back down. He's giddy with excitement at the prospect of being a dad with Dennis, and it takes him a while to fall asleep, but he eventually does to the lull of Dennis's rhythmic breathing beside him.

"Oh, man!" Charlie frantically exclaims as he swings open Mac's bedroom door the next morning. "You're not gonna believe this! The waitress has already sent me, like, twenty texts just this morning!"

Mac and Dennis both groan as they're awoken to Charlie rudely involving them in his dilemma. Like they give a shit.

"What the hell, dude?" Mac says as he sits up and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's not even ten! She's driving me crazy, hounding me about groceries and shit!"

Dennis yawns and stretches as he sits up. "So, are you guys, like, officially a couple now?"

Charlie huffs and sputters. "I - I - I guess!"

"Well, why don't you go see to her? Buy her groceries, kick her out, I don't care. Mac and I have got shit to do today. I'll give you a call or something later, though, alright, buddy?"

Charlie sighs heavily as he trudges out of Mac's and Dennis's apartment, slamming the door shut loudly after him. God, what has he gotten himself into?

"Hey, man, who're you texting?"

"Hm? Oh, no one," Dennis says, glancing up at Mac from his phone for a brief second before returning his attention to it. "I'm looking up movie times. We could see Boss Baby, Power Rangers, Beauty and the Beast, Logan -"

"Oh! Is that the new Wolverine movie?"

"Yeah, bro!"

"Oh, definitely that one, dude."

"Alright, I'll ask Mandy if she's into it." Dennis switches off his phone and sets it on the nightstand as he climbs out of Mac's bed. "I'm gonna get started on breakfast," he says, pulling on his jeans from last night.

"Sure thing, dude." Mac climbs out of bed as well, opting to rummage through his drawers for a fresh set of clothes. By the time he finishes getting dressed, Dennis is already serving Mandy and Brian each a glass of orange juice. Mac joins them at the table.

"Eggs are almost done. Orange juice is here on the counter if you want some," Dennis says, gesturing to the carton with the spatula in his hand.

"Thanks, honey," Mac says, smiling sweetly and enjoying this charade.

Dennis shoots Mac a stealthy glare, which seems to just enhance Mac's glee.

"So, Mandy. Do you like superhero movies?" Mac asks.

"Oh, goodness, who doesn't?"

"Yeah? 'Cause Dennis and I were wondering if you wanted to see Logan tonight."

"Logan?"

"Yeah, X-Men."

"Oh! I'd love to! But... who's gonna watch Junior?" she asks, glancing down at the kid on her lap.

"We've actually already set up a playdate for him for this evening with my friend Carmen's kid! We were thinking we'd drop him off around 5:30."

"What time does the movie start?"

"Uh... Dennis?"

"One sec," Dennis says as he turns off the stove and transfers the eggs into three plates. He places the two plates with three eggs each on them before Mac and Mandy, then returns to the counter to set down the one with two eggs on it for himself. He brings three sets of cutlery to the table and distributes them as he sits down between Mandy and Mac. "What were you saying, Mac?"

"What time's the movie?"

"Mm, lemme check." Dennis pulls out his phone from his pocket and scrolls for a moment. "There's a showing at 6 we could catch."

"Ooh, perfect!" Mandy says with adorable excitement. "This is really sweet of you guys. You know, this obviously wouldn't have been my first choice, but I guess if the father of my child had to fall in love with a man... Well, I'm glad he's you, Mac," Mandy says, smiling warmly at Mac.

Mac feels a genuine warmth spread in his chest at the compliment. "Thanks, Mandy," he says, returning her smile.

The four finish their breakfast, and Dennis takes the dishes to the sink and begins rinsing them. So, let's see... They'll drop Brian off at 5:30, then he'll drop Mac and Mandy off at the movies... That should give him at least a couple of hours before he has to pick them up. That should be enough time.

"I'm gonna go shower," Mac says, getting up from the table.

"Ooh, I think Junior here needs a diaper change," Mandy says as she carries her son with her back into Dennis's room.

Dennis shuts off the tap and dries his hands on the dish towel. He pulls out his phone and dials Charlie's number. "Hey, man," he greets when Charlie picks up on the fourth ring.

"Hey, bro."

"You got any plans tonight?"

"Not as far as I know. Why?"

"Well, I was thinking that with Mandy in town, and with your new relationship, how would you feel about a celebratory double date? Guigino's, maybe?"

"Oh. Uh... Sure. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that sounds good. When?"

"How's six?"

"Today?"

"Yeah, dude."

"Alright. See you then, bro."

"See you, buddy." Dennis hangs up and puts his phone back in his pocket just as Mandy re-enters the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Mandy, how would you feel about seeing the movie with just Mac? Something came up."

"What came up?"

"You remember my friend Charlie, from the bar? Well, he's kind of going through some shit right now. I just got off the phone with him. I'm gonna go see him this evening."

"Oh dear. What's happening?"

"He's just going through some relationship trouble. Anyway, you'll be alright with just Mac?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Mandy smiles. "Your boyfriend's a lovely guy, Brian."

As if on cue, Mac joins the trio in the kitchen, his hair still wet from his shower.

"Well, Mac, it looks like it's just gonna be us tonight," Mandy says, chipper as always.

"Oh?" Mac glances questioningly at Dennis.

"Ah, yeah, uh, Charlie called. He's having some problems with the waitress, I'm gonna go see what's up tonight," Dennis says as he finishes the dishes.

"Huh. That's weird. Why would he call you and not me?"

Dennis shrugs. 

"Well... Alright. I guess it's a date then," Mac says, smiling at Mandy. "I'm warning you now, though, I don't put out unless you buy me dinner."

"Mac! There's a child present!" Dennis jokes. Mac has sort of given him an idea, though...

Eventually, evening rolls around, and the four drive to Carmen's, Mac sitting shotgun next to Dennis. Mac rings Carmen's doorbell.

"Hey!" Carmen cheerfully greets, hugging Mac. "Oh," she says, dropping her smile when she catches sight of Brian Jr. "Mac... you didn't mention he's a baby."

"Oh, yeah, this is Brian Junior," Mac says, taking the baby from Mandy and holding him towards Carmen.

Carmen reluctantly takes the baby. "Um... What time should I expect you guys back?"

"When the movie ends," Dennis answers. "Probably around nine. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, I guess. Alright, well, have fun."

"Thanks," Mac smiles. "You too."

"I'll try," Carmen mutters as she shuts the door.

The three pile back into Dennis's Range Rover and he drops Mac and Mandy off at the theatre with about fifteen minutes to spare. He makes it to Guigino's just two minutes before six. He spots Charlie and the waitress already sitting at a table, each with a glass of water and a menu. "Hey," he says as he takes a seat beside the waitress, directly across from Charlie. Bit of an odd seating arrangement. Whatever. Dennis doesn't question it.

"Oh, hey, man," Charlie says, looking up from his menu. "Where's Mandy?"

"Ah, yeah, it turned out she and Mac had already made plans to see a movie. Sorry. But hey, tell you what, since my date cancelled, why don't I treat you guys? Celebrate your new relationship," Dennis offers with a wide smile.

"Really? That'd be great," the waitress says, finally turning to look at Dennis.

"Good even- Oh. It's you two," the waiter says with disdain when he appears at the table. "Although, I don't think I've met you," he says, smiling genially at the waitress.

"Hi," she smiles back. "I'm -"

"I think we're ready to order," Dennis interrupts.

"We are?" Charlie asks, confused. He hasn't even decided what he wants.

"Yep. We'll take a bottle of your house red and -"

"Oh. Uh, Dennis... I don't think that's such a good idea," Charlie says, trying to indicate the waitress with his eyes.

The waitress sighs. "It's fine. You guys can still drink, I guess."

"Alright, great," Dennis says, returning his attention to the waiter. "We'll take one bottle for now, the lady here will have the prawn salad, my friend over there will have the oysters, and I'll take the snapper."

"Oh, uh... Can I have the snapper, too?" Charlie asks.

"Fine." Dennis isn't sure if Charlie's asking him or the waiter, but he answers, anyway. "He'll take the snapper and the oysters."

"Am I just having a salad?" the waitress asks, frowning.

Dennis sighs. "What else did you want?"

"Hmm... Oh, the spaghetti looks good."

The waiter glares at her suspiciously. "I'm sure it does," he mutters, holding his hand out for their menus.

"Thanks, man," Charlie says to the waiter as he leaves their table. "Why oysters?" he asks Dennis.

"Because they're an aphrodisiac," Dennis refrains from answering. Instead, he just smiles and shrugs, the perfect picture of innocence.

A few minutes later, the waiter reappears at their table with their wine and two stemmed glasses. He sets all three items down in front of Dennis.

Dennis pours two glasses, filling Charlie's just a little more. "So," he begins. "How are things with you two?"

Charlie and the waitress both mutter noncommittal, unintelligible answers. Charlie finishes his wine a little too fast and immediately pours himself a second glass.

The salad and the oysters arrive first, then the snapper a few minutes later. By the time the waiter brings the spaghetti, Charlie is on his fifth glass of wine, while Dennis is deliberately still on his first.

The three make idle chatter as they eat. Dennis notices the flush rising in Charlie's face from the alcohol; emboldened by this observation, he slowly slides his foot up the side of Charlie's calf.

Charlie looks sharply up at Dennis as he slurps an oyster down.

Dennis just grins knowingly. He continues to play footsies with Charlie throughout the meal.

"I'm gotta pee," Charlie mumbles, pushing himself up from the table. He staggers to the washroom.

"Shit, he seems really drunk," Dennis says with feigned concern.

"Yeah." The waitress rolls her eyes. "Great."

"Hey, if you want, I can let him crash at my place. That way if he gets sick or anything, you won't have to deal with him."

"Really? Oh, Dennis, that would be great."

Dennis tries for his most charming smile. "It's not a problem. So... I guess you're over me, huh?" he asks, still grinning.

"Well... Charlie and I are trying to get pregnant, so... it's pretty serious."

"Really? After one bang?"

The waitress shrugs. "He's... surprisingly good."

"Yeah? How good?" Dennis asks suggestively.

"Are you asking if he's as good as you?"

"Maybe."

"No. He's better." The waitress smirks at the affronted expression on Dennis's face.

"Hey, guys," Charlie says, returning to his seat.

"Hey, pal, why don't you spend the night at my place? You drank a lot."

Charlie nods. "I think that'll be... just fine."

"Are we all finished here?" the waiter asks, reappearing at their table.

"Looks like it. You can put everything on my bill."

The waiter nods as he clears their plates, extremely relieved at the lack of saucy shenanigans. He returns a few minutes later with the check.

Dennis pays, then leads the couple out to his car. "Where should I drop you off?" he asks the waitress as she climbs into the backseat.

"I guess at Charlie's and Frank's."

"Alright," Dennis says as he and Charlie get into the car. He drops the waitress off, then drives to his and Mac's with Charlie. He looks at the clock on the stove to gauge how much time they have: 7:23. Perfect, about an hour and a half. "Here," he murmurs, guiding Charlie into his room and divesting him of his jacket. "Let's make sure you don't overheat from the alcohol," Dennis bullshits as he strips off Charlie's shirt and flings it into a corner of his room. "Why don't you lie down, bro? Get comfortable."

Charlie kicks off his shoes and socks and climbs into Dennis's bed.

"Whoa!" Dennis laughs. "You sleep in your jeans, pal?" Without waiting for an answer, Dennis takes it upon himself to undo Charlie's belt and slide it down to the floor. He motions for Charlie to sit up and undoes Charlie's jeans. "Stand up for a sec." Dennis shimmies Charlie's jeans down his legs when Charlie stands.

Charlie nods, then flops back down onto the bed. The room spins slightly. He doesn't feel sick, but he does feel sort of hazy. He closes his eyes.

Dennis sits down on the edge of the bed. He runs his hand over Charlie's abdomen. "Think you're gonna fall asleep?" he asks quietly.

Charlie opens his eyes to look at Dennis when he speaks. He notices Dennis's hand gently rubbing over his ribs. The touch feels nice, now that he's paying attention to it... "I like that," he says as he watches Dennis's hand.

"Yeah?" Dennis grins. He climbs over Charlie to straddle his bare thighs. Dennis hooks his fingers into the waistband of Charlie's underwear and pauses to look at Charlie meaningfully.

Charlie meets Dennis's eyes when he feels them on his face. Dennis looks... concerned? No, that's not it.

Dennis giggles softly at the confusion on Charlie's face. He tugs on Charlie's waistband as he asks, "Can I take these off you?"

"Um... Why?"

"Well... the waitress said something interesting when you were in the bathroom. Apparently, you give pretty good dick. I kinda wanna see what all the hype's about."

Charlie's eyebrows shoot up in disbelief. "You want me to fuck you?"

"If you're not too whiskey-dicked."

Charlie scoffs, almost insulted. "Of course I'm not whiskey-dicked."

Dennis's grin widens. "Great." He yanks Charlie's underwear off and tosses it onto the floor, then immediately holds Charlie still by his hips as he swallows down Charlie's soft cock. He feels it begin to fill his mouth as he laves and sucks. Dennis takes one hand off of one of Charlie's hips to play with his balls. Dennis sucks as hard as he can, slurping obscenely on Charlie's now fully erect cock. Satisfied with his work so far in getting Charlie hard, Dennis pulls off to unbutton his own shirt and toss it onto his floor. He hastily finishes undressing, then leans his naked body over Charlie's to caress the side of his flushed face and kiss him hard, his tongue dancing with Charlie's in a manner similar to how it had swirled around his cock. By the time Dennis breaks the kiss, he's almost as hard as Charlie is.

Charlie pants as he stares up at Dennis's darkened eyes with pupils just as wide. What was he supposed to be doing? Oh, right... Charlie holds his cock by its base and tries to guide it towards Dennis's hole.

"Whoa, hey," Dennis says around a startled laugh when he realizes what Charlie's trying to do. "Do you not know how anal sex works, buddy?" Jesus Christ, how the hell can this idiot be the waitress's James goddamn Deen? Dennis reaches over to pull open the drawer of his nightstand. He grabs the lube, which is next to a couple of condoms. Dennis decides to grab one, as well. The waitress had mentioned they were trying for kids, so Charlie's obviously been barebacking her, and she's the kind of chick who'd fuck Frank, so... better safe than sorry. Dennis tears open the orange wrapper and flicks it back into the drawer from whence it came. He rolls the clear rubber down over Charlie's erection. Dennis squirts some lube onto his fingers and stretches himself open as quickly as he can. Once he's managed three fingers, Dennis slathers Charlie's cock generously with lube. He closes the bottle and tosses it into a dip in the bed. Dennis grabs the base of Charlie's cock and kneels up over it. He slowly lowers himself onto it. "Fuck," he bites out when he feels the head pop past his rim. It doesn't really hurt, but Dennis feels tears well beneath his eyes from the intensity of the sensation as he sinks further down until his ass is flush with Charlie's thighs. Dennis swallows thickly and closes his eyes, gathering himself for a moment. "Okay," he breathes, finally, as he opens his eyes. He grins down at Charlie. "Show me what you've got, man."

Charlie grabs onto Dennis's hips and thrusts his hips up. He moans wantonly and does it again. He picks up the pace fairly quickly, the sweaty sounds of skin slapping against skin echoing off of Dennis's bedroom walls within minutes.

Dennis bites into his own fist as Charlie fucks him mercilessly. He holds Charlie's stare, his own glossy and pleading. Precome drips down his shaft.

"Ohhhh fuck," Charlie groans loudly. He quickens his thrusts, fucking Dennis deep and hard. "Fuck... Fuck, Dennis, I'm gonna come. You close, man?"

Dennis nods and takes his fist out of his mouth to wrap it tightly around his cock. Dennis comes all over Charlie's torso just as he feels Charlie pull his hips down and hold him still as he pulses inside of Dennis. Dennis slouches as he catches his breath. He eventually feels Charlie's softening cock slip out of him, the condom unfortunately catching on Dennis's rim. Dennis pinches it closed at the bottom and pulls it free from his ass. He ties it in a secure knot and slings it into his trashcan. Dennis climbs off of Charlie and collapses next to him. He glances at his alarm clock: 8:19. He turns his head to smile at Charlie, the muscles in his face pushing a couple of tears over his lower eyelids.

Charlie returns Dennis's smile. "So, was it everything you were expecting?"

"Aside from when you tried to go in dry, yeah, it was... Charlie, you were great, man."

"Nice. Guess that's two for two this week, then. Oh, shit."

"What?"

"Was this... cheating?"

Obviously. "Well, did you guys explicitly agree to be exclusive?"

"No."

"Then I'm sure it's fine. Come on, let's get cleaned up. Do you want to shower?"

Charlie yawns. "Nah, I'm kinda tired. Hey, man, is it alright if I crash here?"

"Uh... Sure. I guess Mac can take the couch and Mandy and Brian can have his room. Speaking of, I better get ready to pick them up." 

By the time Dennis finishes showering and getting dressed, Charlie is fast asleep in his bed. Dennis grins as he ejects the evening's tape from his camcorder. He writes, "Charlie ****" on the label and tucks it under his arm as he makes his way out to his car. Dennis stops off at Charlie's and Frank's apartment before driving to the cinema. He knocks on the apartment door.

"Oh. Dennis, what are you doing here?" the waitress asks, confused. "Is everything alright with Charlie?"

Dennis smirks obnoxiously. "Everything's more than alright with Charlie."

"What?"

"Here." Dennis hands the tape to the waitress.

"What is this?" she asks as she turns it over to read the label. Her eyes widen. "You didn't -"

"I fucked your boyfriend. Or, technically, he fucked me. Enjoy!" Dennis cheerfully declares as he departs, slamming the door in her stunned face. Dennis wonders as he drives to the theatre whether the waitress is more likely to revenge fuck him or Charlie. Or Frank again. Or... Dennis giggles at the thought of her going after Charlie's mom. Though, Frank is sort of Charlie's dad, possibly... He'd be a two for one. Kind of like Charlie was for Dennis: Incite the waitress's jealousy to make her want him again and see for himself what all the hype is about Charlie's sexual prowess. Dennis isn't totally sure (yet) if he succeeded in the former, but goddamn did the latter come through. There's nothing Dennis can do to help his grin as he pulls into the parking lot of the theatre and walks into the lobby where Mac and Mandy are chatting excitedly about the movie they just watched.

"Oh, hey, Dennis," Mac interrupts himself to say when he catches sight of his friend. "How'd it go with Charlie?"

"Great," Dennis answers, grinning like a shark. "Really, really fucking great, Mac," he says as he slings an arm around Mac's shoulders and leads him out to the car with Mandy.

"Yeah? That's awesome. You helped him out with his waitress problem?"

"I sure did," Dennis says proudly as the three pile into his car. Or he just made everything a hell of a lot worse. Dennis frowns and shrugs. Really, who cares? At least now he conveniently always has the option of fucking off to North Dakota if shit turns sour. Dennis revels in his own genius as he drives to Carmen's to pick up his ticket out of the fresh hell he may very well have just created.

**Author's Note:**

> Context/ references:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF8YUqV71AY&feature=share
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqyN9i7uJ1o&feature=share
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jK-ZRxeJIiU&feature=share
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZiNb-2Fntk&feature=share
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvZpFItnaSM&feature=share
> 
> https://youtu.be/IFJS_BHaMi8
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fqF2y1gm5s&feature=share
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAjJnT_pXYE&feature=share


End file.
